Sunday, December 23, 2012

10 years

This boxing day will mark 10 years since my beautiful Father passed away.

10 years sounds like such a distance, so so much has happened and changed since then, but his presence stays very strongly with me. I love how he is frozen in time, and will now always look like he does in this picture. This is the Dad i most remember and miss. Not the one who was sick and fighting against time. It took a few years for that memory to diminish, for a long time it was still the one that popped into my heads first. Now i struggle to visualise him during his illness.

I cant believe that 10 years has passed, and that i have lived for 10 years without him with me. I remember thinking many times will i be able too? My beautiful family has helped of course, and the support, strength and secure bond with Jem has been my rock.

I can't quite comprehend how hard and difficult it has been for my mum though. My life has well and truly moved forward in so many exciting ways since he died. And although it is heartbreakingly sad that he didn't see me get married, or meet any of my beautiful children or be apart of our move to the coast, new and amazing memories are being imprinted into my life without him with me.

Mum, has had to learn to survive has a single person after being in a partnership for 30 years, she has stayed in the same house that she and Dad made into a home, looked after and managed Dad's estate. She had to learn how to be on her own especially after we moved to Barwon Heads. She had to work though the lonely times and attain the strength in which to carry though. Lucy-Lu (family dog) has been a huge key to this I'm sure. She has done an amazing job.

We have a lot to celebrate this Christmas, and it will be at my family home surrounded by my Dad's memories,  my dear brother and his partner, Jem and his family and Mum.

I hope you all have a beautiful, happy and safe Christmas.

It is so important to be grateful for what your have.

I am.


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